I admit it; in past posts, I've tried to avoid talking a whole lot about religion. Politics, movies, and the absurdity of life and the human experience are all fair game. But what in life is more absurd than religion?
Allow me to clarify.
I've been raised a Mormon from birth. I was baptized at age eight, and when I turned nineteen, I served an LDS mission in Brazil. It wasn't until after my mission that I started thinking "maybe not..?" You see, with the Mormon church, it's not uncommon for teenagers to rebel and question their faith. The problem is I didn't start asking the questions I should have until after my mission. So I just entered the "rebellious youth" in my early- to mid-twenties.
I hold no grudge against the church. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to have served in Belém. I have made friends for life. But at this point, I'm not sure what I truly believe.
When people ask me my favorite hymn, I like to say "Spirit in the Sky." People don't usually realize I'm talking about the the 1969 psychedelic gospel song written by Norman Greenbaum (who, although he wrote it about Jesus, is actually Jewish).
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| (coincidentally, Jesus was also Jewish) |
It's hard to pinpoint just when my feelings on religion changed, but this is pretty much the evolution of my own theological beliefs;
-age 9: "My parents seem to know what's what. I'll just go with it."
-age 13: "I live in Utah. Like, 99% of everybody is Mormon. The rest are wrong."
-age 17: "Wait, what? You mean to tell me not everyone is a Mormon Republican?"
-age 20: "Well, I don't really know what I'm teaching, but what am I learning? Also, I think I'm starting to see some cracks in conservatism."
-now: "I'm a student of philosophy (why not?). But when it comes to God and religion, I guess my question isn't 'why?' or 'why not?' but 'really?'."
So there you have it. In just 24 years I've gone from assuming God is real to assuming God is fake. And that assumption bothers a lot of my friends, theist and atheist alike.
I am well-aware of Richard Dawkins' assertion that there is no God. On a scale from 1-7, 1 being absolutely certain there is no God and 7 being absolutely certain there is a God, he placed himself at a 1.5, but only because you can't prove there is no God. On his atheism, he has said "I contend that we are all atheists. I just believe in one less god." Meaning that although you believe in God, you probably don't believe in Zeus or Odin or Lord Cthulhu. Bill Maher claims to be an atheist but we all know he believes himself to be God.
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(until your face appears in a grilled cheese sandwich, you're nothing)
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George Carlin put it this way;
"You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn't (mess) around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.
"For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that ____ out with one visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.
"So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself."
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| (robbing from an eight-year-old aside, Joe Pesci can usually get things done) |
And when I try to reconcile with God, I remember a group of people who won't let me do that. They're just too loud and pushy. The creationists.
As bad as people claim Richard Dawkins is (I actually like him, and I found The God Delusion to be a fair argument for atheism. still, to call it "the atheist bible" is to miss the point entirely), nobody pits God against science quite like creationists. We're talking about a group of people who (some quite literally) believe that the earth was made in six days. And on the seventh day, God rested. And when Adam became bored, God made him Eve out of one of Adam's ribs.
Well, I'm glad that's all cleared up. That's so much easier than believing in adaptation and Darwinian evolution. 'Cause that would just render The Old Testament, ergo The Holy Bible, ergo religion in general invalid. And if I'm not going to Heaven, then where am I going?
It's not hard to understand why people believe in heaven. When I look to the skies, I am in awe of its natural beauty and remember just how insignificant I really am. But to me, space, the stars, the clouds in the sky; those are all more beautiful than any concept of God. And when I contemplate the vastness of the universe, pantheism kind of makes sense. But to claim it as "just another of God's creations" seems to belittle it.
There are reasons to believe in God just as there are reasons not to. There are health-related reasons not to drink and smoke or engage in unprotected sexual acts with multiple partners. There are aesthetic and pragmatic reasons not to get tattoos or piercings. But your reason should never be "because God said so." To me, regardless of your dogma or theological beliefs, that is an unacceptable answer. The Bible has been around for thousands of years, and with the times, so have the interpretations changed. The Bible bans tattoos and homosexuality. It also bans shellfish and letting women speak in church. And I know that's the Old Testament, and the Old Testament has never made any sense to me. The point is, how do you pick and choose?
The Old Testament vs. the New Testament is an old argument. The God of the Old Testament is so angry and jealous. The God of the New Testament is so peaceful and serene. So what happened in between the two books being written to mellow Him out so much? Maybe, as Lewis Black claims, the birth of His son settled Him down. I think of it more as The Big Lebowski. The God of the Old Testament is like Walter Sobchak (which is only fitting since he's a Jewish convert), a Vietnam veteran with anger management issues. The God of the New Testament is Jeff "The Dude" Lebowski, a relaxed California pacifist. Despite their differences, the two remain good friends. How has no Christian ever used that defense before?
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| (The Dude abides. Amen.) |
That's pretty much where I stand right now. I'm sorry if you're still not clear; neither am I. But it's better to commit to confusion than put on the facade of conviction.
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| (I don't care how sexy you are, S.E. Cupp - and you most definitely are - you can't be conservative and atheist. now that's confusing) |
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