Life is Like a Palindrome

I'm just gonna dive right into it; sometimes life sucks, but you gotta find reasons to keep living and ways to enjoy it. And although family and friends are a good support system, you gotta make your own fun. What you do with your life comes down on one person, and that person is you. No matter how good a friend, how influential a colleague, it's on you to live your life. Here are four things I can take solace in that make me happy.

1) Movies. Everyone enjoys a good movie, but I also enjoy really bad movies. Not so much that "trying-to-be-good" bad movie, but the real, unapolgetic crap. I love B movies. They're a perfect combination of kitsch and campy, often laced with gratuitous, over-the-top violence. And I really love the garbage Syfy puts out; Raptor Island and Planet Raptor (both pretty self-explanatory), High Plains Invaders (think pre-Cowboys & Aliens, minus the budget and star power), the previously mentioned, immortal Sharktopus (which shall forever be one of my favorites), and the upcoming - wait for it - Piranhaconda! The only thing I enjoy more than actually watching these movies are the promotional posters. I think it's due in part to the campiness, but I also find novelty in the fact that by simply looking at the poster, you know all you need to know about the movie. For example, Forrest Gump is an Academy Award-winning movie with brilliant performances by all actors involved. But the promotional poster is Tom Hanks, in character, sitting on a bench. Big woop. But with Syfy and other B movies, well... just look;

(I wonder what this is about?)

2) Food. I enjoy all types. Who doesn't? But with so much Italian and Mexican to go around, I often wonder why Arab food isn't more popular. I guess it's one of those things that doesn't sound great on paper (mostly because most Americans can't pronounce them), but it tastes great. My first exposure to it was through a good Syrian friend. Then I got a second exposure to it in Brazil, in fast food form. Sfiha and kibbeh made to order? Yes, please!

(I'm not sure who Habib is, but I believe the man wearing a fez winking at you is Muhammed the Profiteer*, who delivers falafel to me and my friend Eskimo Bob)

3) Writing. Well, probably not very shocking. I mean, I have a blog that I keep pretty well updated. What you might not know is I dream of publishing novels. Good novels. Original novels. Morbidly humorous novels. I've even toyed with pen names. I was thinking something like Scott Gonzales, but we'll talk about that another day.

(although, obviously, nothing I write can ever be as good this self-help book featuring some James Van Der Beek-Zack Morris hybrid and a guy rocking jheri curls)

4) White trash culture. I don't mean to sound condescending, but I really don't know how else to put it. For someone who spends much of his time making of hardcore conservatives, I spend a lot of time bumping elbows with them. I enjoy rodeos - try telling me the majority of that audience isn't corn-fed FOX News Republican. I went to my first demolition derby recently, and I loved it. I love those down-home ma-and-pa diners. Steak and eggs with a side of grits. You're not likely to find any Keith Olbermanns here (you may spot a Hunter S. Thompson, but they tend to keep to themselves) Oh, and I like guns. I don't really use them for anything productive. I don't hunt. The thought of waking up at the buttcrack of dawn to sit and wait for something to show up to shoot sounds boring and frustrating. But boy, they sure are fun to shoot. Reach down from Heaven, Charlton Heston! High-five me!

(I guess even the KKK is raising breast cancer awareness these days)

*The profiteering Muhammed is the intellectual property of Eskimo Bob and eskimoboblives.com, and in no way relates to Muhammed the prophet of the Muslim faith