Transmorphers. I Am Omega. Alien Vs. Hunter. Puss N' Boots. Sound familiar? That's because they're blatant ripoffs of more famous movies; Transformers, I Am Legend, Alien Vs. Predator, and Puss in Boots, respectively. And if that's not enough, you know who else uses plagiarism to capitalize on popular titles? Pornographers! Bathman, Edward Penishands, and the self-indulgent The Sex Files. Yes, when it comes to blockbusters, nothing's sacred. But why stop there? Why not go for the Academy gold?
(not that Transformers didn't have its good parts...)
I can't turn on the Syfy channel without seeing some lame, rehashed horse crap B-movie. But Randy, you're probably thinking, you love those movies! And you're absolutely right, I do love those movies. But how come I don't see any ripoffs of pretenious crap, like The Irish Patient or Terms of Endorsement? Take note of this, all of you would-be Ed Woods, there's money to be made. Not a lot, but money nonetheless.
I have an idea for just such a movie, called Precocious, borrowing the idea from the 2010 Oscar-nominated film, Precious. Now, I've never actually seen the movie, so I'm going to have to just fill in the gaps.
Precocious, an overweight, pregnant minority (possibly Polack), lives with her bitter, neglectful mother. A bookish mathlete, she falls in love with the most popular kid in school, star basketball player Troy (portrayed by Zac Efron), and soon discovers they make a good singing team. But time, and the obnoxious rich girl, Sharpay (Ashley Tisdale), are not on her side, as Sharpay schedules the singing competition at the same time as the decathlon and the big game! But love conquers all, and they win the decathlon, the game, and the talent show, proving once and for all that Disney movies don't need anatgonists.
Oh, wait. That's the plot to High School Musical.
(not to be confused with Precious)
Okay, so how about this; Gangs of New England. It'll be just like Gangs of New York minus Daniel Day-Lewis... set in Revolution-era Massachusetts! Samuel Adams, leader of the Whig party, lands a cushy job at a resort at the coast of colonial Boston, along with his girlfriend Gabriella and pal Chad. When the snobby British push him to switch his loyalties, he remembers those he's abandoned and quits his job at the resort and forms the Boston Tea Party, prompting the British to pass the Conciliatory Resolution. But that's a story to be told in High School Musical 3... Damn!
I guess this whole "mockbuster" business is harder than I thought. I thought all I had to do was ripoff famous movies, only changing names and the budget, but I'm drawing a blank. I'm looking for something a little more "Syfy" and a little less "Disney."
(yeah, that's it!)
Oh, well. I guess I'll just go back to watching Transmorphers.
(Transmorphers may not have had the same budget as Transformers, but at least it spared us of Shia LaBeouf)
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