Race to the Finish

There is a term that is used far too much today. It's a trigger word of sorts, that can bring people to their knees and potentially end careers.

"Racist."

(this seems to be everybody's favorite comparison, and as exaggerated as it might be... you gotta admit the similarities)

Racism is no good thing, but I believe it thrown around far too liberally. And really, why not? Everyone's a little bit racist. Allow me to ellaborate. There are three basic kinds of racism;

1) Racism by Incident; the kind of racism that comes through experience, good or bad. Example; working at Subway, I've served a few Canadians. They've all been incredibly nice, going so far as to argue about who was going to pay for who's sandwich. However, I've also served a number of Asian people (I assume tourists, but hell, that assumption itself could be considered racist). And I've noticed that whenever Asians come in, there is some sort of hushed debate as to who is going to serve them. I've also noticed it usually ends up being me. To generalize in the kindest terms, they've seemed like pretty nice people; however, they have also been incredibly hard to understand. As such, I don't like taking their orders. Of course, this racism isn't limited strictly to making people's sandwiches, it's simply the freshest in recent memory.

2) Racism by Surroundings; the kind of racism that comes from community. Look, I know this to be true - you tend to be more comfortable around what you've grown up with. We this "the bubble." Traveling to other communities and societies can expand your bubble, but you've got to be willing to adjust and adapt. Growing up in Utah, that means Mormons, Republicans, and a whole lot of white people. It's sad for me to admit my discomfort around black people. It's not a dislike or distaste, it's just not something I'm used to. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around them, because of a crippling fear of offending them (this is called "white guilt," most commonly associated with the Democratic Party). However, after spending two years in Brazil (where diversity is more subtly accepted rather than bluntly acknowledged), I became close with a man who is dark as night (so dark, in fact, that when we experienced a blackout, I couldn't see him until I saw the white teeth in his smile - it was like the Cheshire Cat). To this day, I consider him a brother. Ironically, a two-year LDS mission made me less comfortable around Mormons and Republicans.

3) Misinformed Racism; the kind of racism that comes from idiocy. I can't rationalize this one. I can't tell you why the Ku Klux Klan hates anybody who isn't a straight, white Protestant. I can't tell you why the Black Panthers hate white people (although I think it has something to do with the Ku Klux Klan). And I can't tell you why it's socially acceptable for latinos to use the word "nigger" as freely as African-Americans. All I can say is they must be getting their information out of their ass instead of their head, because if you think long enough about it, there is no superior race.

That is to say, there is no superior race, but there are races. In America, it's like we're trying to get rid of our differences rather than embrace them. I don't understand why America is so taboo about race. Here in America, we talk about diversity while trying to eliminate them. I don't think we should judge people based on gender, ethnicity, sexual preference, etc., but I think we should celebrate differences instead of try to obliterate them. I'm a white guy. I have things pretty easy, all things considered. Face it; white people have had it pretty good for the past thousands of years. And I'm totally glad I'm not a chick - menstruation sounds awful, I would never want to go through the experience of childbirth, and I'm glad I don't have to look at naked guys, although I could also chalk that up to me being straight. Not that I have anything against gay people, I'm just saying I think I'd be lesbian if I were a girl, based on the fact that I'm confident I'd be a pretty "butch" chick, and I find penises (or is it peni?) repulsive.

And what about jokes? Can't we find humor in our humanity, or is that unacceptable? I always thought of humor as an antidote (or is that anecdote?) to tension. Most people I know laugh at racist jokes, but most people I know are not actually racists. That includes me (although I've never laughed at a Polack joke. it's not that I'm above that, I've just never known any Polish people as a basis of comparison). I understand that not all stereotypes are accurate, but not all of them are bad, either. Irish and Mexican stereotypes actually share a lot in common; they're both strongly Catholic, they both come from working-class backgrounds, and both have holidays that are celebrated in the U.S. Yet I will never celebrate St. Patrick's Day with the gusto that I celebrate Cinco de Mayo. Is that because I hate the Irish? (Yes! I mean no!) I haven't liked St. Patrick's Day since I was a child. I never understood why I had to wear green and why I'd get pinched if I didn't. And to this day, I have no clue as to what the celebration is actually about! It's actually a religious holiday in Ireland, but here we seem to celebrate it because St. Patrick vanquished all the snakes from Ireland (which is much easier than it sounds). But with Cinco de Mayo, they're celebrating a military victory over Napolean's France (not the true "Mexican Independence Day" as most Americans believe). I can get behind a celebration like that! The mestizos in Mexico rose up against the French occupation. Who doesn't love a good underdog story? Besides, I like tacos and tamales more than corned beef and cabbage.

So why should we be color blind? Here's a hypothetical situation; You own a convenience store. You were robbed. You have to file a police report. You have two options;

Dark male, possibly Indian (don't want anybody feeling left out!), around 20 years old.

(and yes, I said Indian to because they stereotypically run convenience stores, rendering it ironic. who else would you assume to rob the store? a Polack? racist.)

or

Human being, gender unspecified, age undetermined, race not important.

(artist's rendering)

Those are both accurate, but you'll get better results using descriptions.

Here's one final test on racial profiling for you. Who is known for fearing cops and loving fried chicken and watermelon? Give up? I was actually talking about myself. I have a pretty clean record, but policemen make me uncomfortable as hell, and I love me some fried chicken and watermelon. I could eat fried chicken weekly if I wasn't sure I'd give myself colon cancer. And you probably thought I was talking about Polacks. Racist.